Not taking for granted, anything.

The last few days have been tough (p.s. I think I'm going to have my period very soon) and I would like to work on my decisions starting right now. One good thing I did, and that I was scared to do, was call a job that I had started working in after my break and talk to the manager who trained me this morning to tell her I decided not to continue with the job.

I have learned especially lately how things have really scared me in life and that I would like to be more brave. More brave in trusting in the person I love and our relationship, more brave in confronting people and telling them how I feel, more brave in making steps in my career and in things I love. I have to give myself understanding that given my experiences, I have formed coping mechanisms that I need to reshape consciously.

I have also thought about today how nothing should be taken for granted. And that all of our actions will affect others and the energy of the universe in some way. Ways we do not know of...therefore I need to not do things to expect something in return, but do things to project positive energy into the universe and know that something or someone somewhere will be affected.

I also thought today about how I would like to use my talents more in the work I do, and the knowledge I have. I don't think about sometimes that Hey, I have a master's degree in public health, I have a lot of knowledge that could help people. I need to find a way to contribute that to people. I have laid stagnant and confused for a long time now, understandably, but I'm ready now to rekindle my passions. Of course a romantic passion has been rekindled for a long time, thanks to one beautiful person. But now I would like to rekindle other passions for public health, inequalities, international issues, music, drawing and photography and so on. I need to realize how important they are. I will not take these for granted.

I have a lot of energies and great things to contribute to the world, and even if I only make the step to read some articles on social justice/ international health issues, write an email to a friend to let them know how much I care about them, post a nice comment on someone's blog, write a short story on a topic I care about, pray or write a poem for someone-- there is no thought or deed too small.