I find it easier to type into a blog than write in a diary lately. The only difference is that this is not as private. But I don't really care :o)

I struggled so much this morning in finishing my midterm, without even mentioning last night! It was horrible last night...I sat down with my midterm in anguish for about 4 and a half hours before I started to type on my computer or read. It was frustruating. Maybe a writer's block? Anyway, I did finish it-- I'm not sure how good it is and how complete. I'm not too savy or interested in studying policy. I get lost in the gargons and legal words.

I finished it though, printed it, and turned it in! yay me!! I'm proud of myself. That is something that everyone needs, I think. To feel proud of themselves. :) I'm proud of you, too. By the way.

Now, I am reading Pigs in Heaven by Barbara Kingsolver. I'm a huge huge fan of hers. This book is a really great story about a child from the Cherokee nation who was adopted and her parents want her back. It's about the struggle and disenfranchisement of Native American communities as well. I like where the title comes from- it originates from a Native American myth about turning one's back on community, which turns that person into a pig in heaven.

On other thoughts, I'm trying to decide what I want to do this summer. And whether I want to continue with my program here or take a leap of faith and go to Iowa. One minute I sway towards Iowa and the next, to stay here. I feel as if I should make myself go to Iowa. To save money (in case a recession comes? I don't know why I feel like I need to save money for the recession, kind of like feeling like I need food stored for a storm.) And I feel like I should do a PhD. I keep thinking, I should do a PhD, I should do it. Is it really coming from deep inside me? I don't know...many other people are saying I should do it as well. Namely my sister, girlfriend, dad, a couple friends. It's true that I am inclined to that type of "inquiry" mindset that is true to research. At the same time I think social work is SO important, and I can't even imagine myself doing a PhD in public health without a background in social work. It's almost like discounting people as people and treating them as numbers.