I have realized that multiple stressful things in my environment have built up within me that I have been suppressing. I have focused so much on my passion for the social work program that I have not taken care of myself and some basic needs. Through being blind sided to that one mission, I have ignored the alarm bells within me. And they are going off more and more as time passes. Last night an incident shook me awake and made me realize I need to be more aware of balance in my life, paying attention to needs otherwise it is detrimental to others in my life and myself. Yes, I am behind in my classes but I cannot expect myself to catch up right away while doing many other things at the same time. I need to give myself credit for doing as much as I have done since arriving here.
So I believe the first step now is to open my eyes to my life here-- not only to my school courses. To the overall experience and moments, and to re-embrace the activities and things I love to do. Whether it's going to the food co-op, farmer's market, walking through Prospect Park, learning about Buddhism, doing art work, or photography. I think it is also important for me to check-in everyday and think about whether I am slipping into a narrow track or experiencing the days and my emotions in a balanced and healthy way. I especially need those outlets because of the intensity of my program in social work and the emotionally draining (at times) material I am studying. Otherwise, I will keep the negative energy inside and it comes out at random times in non-constructive ways. Therefore, I need to work on transcending and transforming that negative energy....
1 comment:
interesting post - resonates a lot with me...sometimes it is hard to be mindful, but it is always worthwhile. Good luck
Post a Comment