Morning walk in Prospect Park...

New apartment.

Afternoon pause.

Snowy day everywhere.

It's funny because everyone I have talked to today, in various other cities, said that it was snowing hard where they were at and they were enjoying it to some extent. Even on a couple blogs I checked, the same feeling was evoked. It makes me think further about the cosmic connection between everyone :) Today Brooklyn was covered with snow, and watching it from our living room window (the view in the photo above) was peaceful, just watching the snow falling without all the traffic of the city. From my little spot.

Interesting how yesterday evening was absolutely beautiful....a few wonderful things happened and I was feeling full of great spirit. But I also told myself that just like a wheel, the "good" part will circle around to the "not so good" part and to keep everything in perspective. And today I did circle to the "not so good part". I think I am coming out of the bad mood but it lasted for hours today and I could not explain why. Such is life.

Nevertheless, I decided to make the best of where I am at. I also realize how important it is to include art and physical activity daily in my life. And now I have neither. So it is up to me to include these activities; I decided today to look for a writing or an art class to take in NYC. I am also moving on Sunday very close to a park in Brooklyn and hope I can go there everyday!

Sun sets over brooklyn heights.

Stairway and light....

Sun shining down in our alleyway...I can't wait to go outside in a few minutes and see more sunlight!

Note on street....

I found this note laying on the wet ground next to the curb this afternoon as I was looking at an apartment....The "I LOVE YOU" caught my eye. I wonder if the person who was supposed to receive this note ever got it and if she or he knows that this other person loves her or him. It just seems like a mystery to me but I do trust everything worked out between L. and R. Whoever and wherever they are! :-)

Good morning!

I've decided today that I'm going to let go of my grip on my job search. I'm going to let go of the idea that I need to have the exact answers about what I want my career to be. I will start living in the moment and acting on what I would like for myself right now. I realize that might change and I'm not expected to have the answers now. I keep returning in my thoughts to the times in the past when I knew what I wanted to do and wonder how that disappeared, or if I have suppressed those thoughts. I keep waiting for them to return. And to accept this, accept my life right now is difficult. Because it is uncertain. Because I don't have a clear idea of my future and even with myself right now. Sometimes I feel like I'm going through adolescence and have no idea who I am or where I'm going. And that's okay. I need to stop forcing myself to defne myself and be something. I will let go of that pressure and just live. That is my life.

The dance of uncertainty.

Today' daily inspiration quote on Deepak Chopra's Spiritual Center website made me smile. Here it is:

"Of what is the body made? It is made of emptiness and rhythm. At the ultimate heart of the body, at the heart of the world, there is no solidity . . .there is only the dance."
-- George Leonard

I particularly like this quote because so often we as humans try to control everything and look for answers. We try to make everything solid and defined. But to just let go and trust that the answer is that there are no answers but to live in each moment and let each moment define our lives, certain or uncertain, is trusting in the beautiful dance of life.

I am still learning how to do this. There are times I think I "slip" and don't trust my life and the moment....I want to move on to the next moment and transform into something in my dreams, not based on reality. That's escaping and I still often wish to escape the current moment into something more comfortable. But I'm learning how to be comfortable in those moments that seem scary. It's like a rough rock that gets smoothed over by the currents....the rough moments will get soothed as well with open effort and patience.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope everyone has an enjoyable Valentine's Day! I cannot be with my sweetie today so I went out to the neighborhood wine shop and bought a bottle of carernet sauvignon to enjoy on my own. I know she will be with me in spirit :) What we are going to do from our distance apart, is open the Valentine's Day presents we sent eachother together on the telephone. Her box is sitting right beside me but I'm just waiting until she picks her present up from Fed Ex tonight. I wish everyone else, whether they are alone with someone else or with many others, a beautiful evening. Enjoy!

Winter tree lights.

Today I took a walk in my sister's neighborhood before coming inside at the end of the day. Her area has beautiful old Brooklyn town houses and it relaxes me walking along the tree-lined streets, especially after being in the middle of the hustle and bustle of New York City's Manhattan and subways. The weather was a little overcast, but in a misty and crisp way...one of my favorite types of weather. It makes me feel introspective and like I want to read under a lamp curled up at home.

On my walk it caught my eye that some of the houses have lights on the small trees by the front door. I loved seeing these lights-- they reminded me of Christmas lights in an elegant post-Christmas way. My soul lit up seeing these trees and bushes with flickering bulbs against the cloudy sky. I posted photos of the magic above!

Moving forward...

I have realized that multiple stressful things in my environment have built up within me that I have been suppressing. I have focused so much on my passion for the social work program that I have not taken care of myself and some basic needs. Through being blind sided to that one mission, I have ignored the alarm bells within me. And they are going off more and more as time passes. Last night an incident shook me awake and made me realize I need to be more aware of balance in my life, paying attention to needs otherwise it is detrimental to others in my life and myself. Yes, I am behind in my classes but I cannot expect myself to catch up right away while doing many other things at the same time. I need to give myself credit for doing as much as I have done since arriving here.

So I believe the first step now is to open my eyes to my life here-- not only to my school courses. To the overall experience and moments, and to re-embrace the activities and things I love to do. Whether it's going to the food co-op, farmer's market, walking through Prospect Park, learning about Buddhism, doing art work, or photography. I think it is also important for me to check-in everyday and think about whether I am slipping into a narrow track or experiencing the days and my emotions in a balanced and healthy way. I especially need those outlets because of the intensity of my program in social work and the emotionally draining (at times) material I am studying. Otherwise, I will keep the negative energy inside and it comes out at random times in non-constructive ways. Therefore, I need to work on transcending and transforming that negative energy....

To my sweetie....

I was standing in front of Conneticute Muffin in Brooklyn Heights tonight talking on the phone when I looked down at my feet to see this! This pink heart was painted on the pavement...it was so sweet to see since I was talking with my lovey on the phone and it just reflected my feelings.

Brooklyn sun....

Walking home from classes, the sun casted a beautiful glow across Brooklyn Heights. The buildings were lit in interesting ways, making great lines and angles of light. I managed to reflect some of those images in my camera. The buildings in brooklyn heights are quite beautiful to begin with, but take an entirely new shape with the sun!

I had my third class of the four I'm taking in social work graduate school today. I'm very much liking all of them and curious about the fourth one, Human Behavior in the Social Environment. I feel like I'm feeding my mind such wonderful stuff in the classes and through my readings. I hope that I can think about the information in a creative way and contribute to the field while also helping people through my internship now and in the future. This is the beginning of such a long road I'm prepared to take, it's going to be wonderful every step of the way! I can feel it!

Walk in Brooklyn Heights

I took a walk along the brooklyn heights promenade yesterday afternoon. I needed a break from studying. The air was misty and the clouds bluish/gray...it was refreshing. After taking some photos, I felt ready to get back to studying.

New.

I am in nyc now and staying with my sister and soon to be brother-in-law until I get settled in school. Her apartment is very cozy, and I feel very lucky to have her welcome me here. It's raining outside now but the ethereal curtains with lights cast a cozy magical ambiance despite the outdoors weather.